In this post, I figured I’d take an opportunity to discuss some of the challenges and cultural issues we will face with Tonya, starting with the language barrier.
As I mentioned at the end of my last post, Tonya does not speak a word of English, only Russian. Fortunately there are several translators/chaperons who come along with the kids so we will have access to them when we first meet at the airport tomorrow. At some point during the 5-week visit, we will be letting one of the chaperons stay with us for a few days (which is why I really needed to get our other bathroom functional!) However, once we leave the airport, we are “on our own”, and life becomes a big game of charades. Supposedly the chaperons are available by phone 24/7 in case a child suffers a major meltdown and the charades game just isn’t working!
Fortunately for Jo an I, we have two blessings in our corner. First, I have a co-worker named Naira who speaks native Russian, and she has generously offered her phone-support services if we ever get into a jam. And second, we met a new volunteer at the animal shelter last month named Ayrina who came from the Ukraine and speaks both Ukrainian and Russian. That means Tonya will have someone to chat with when we bring her to the shelter! Having these two people “on hand” is a great comfort to me, and I am interested to see how often we call upon them to help us out.
We have met many others who have hosted before and they all swear that the language is not the biggest issue. They somehow failed to warn us what the biggest issue IS, but I guess it is probably as different as each child. We have been told that most Russians despise this hosting program, and that they discourage the kids from partaking by telling them that “Americans kill young children to harvest their organs.” (Thanks guys! I’m sure that will make our job much easier over here.)
We have purchased a picture book called “The First Thousand Words in Russian” which has a picture of pretty much EVERYTHING along with its Russian name spelled underneath and a phonetic English translation. So when we want Tonya to, say, brush her teeth, we will point at the toothbrush picture and hope she gets it. Other things, like using an American toilet, might be more challenging. We are told that in the orphanage toilet paper is thrown in the trash, not flushed. THAT will make for a fun game of charades!
Talking with others who have gone through this before has definitely helped prep us. We have learned that life at the orphanage is very militant. With minimal adult supervision, the older kids rule over the younger kids. Children awake at the same time every day and stand in their rooms until they are “released” to get breakfast, which is very simple… often some fresh fruit or perhaps a bowl of oatmeal. They do not know about “choosing” what to eat or what to wear. They have never had more food than they can eat. (We have been warned that they will almost certainly hide leftover food and sneak it up to their rooms for later and that we should check under the bed and in their backpacks for rotting fruit!) Bathing is most likely a weekly event for them. These kids have probably never had a hot shower, or even imagined sitting in a warm tub full of bubbles. They have never had an eye exam. If they have seen a dentist, there was no “gas” or “Novocaine” involved in whatever procedure was done, and they are most likely terrified of dentists. Go figure. Most sadly, they have probably never received any individualized attention, which is what they crave the most. Kids do extra chores to try and gain the favor of the orphanage staff in hopes of getting some extra attention.
So, our mission in the next 5 weeks is to give one of these kids a real family life and a chance to experience the luxuries we take for granted every day. We will take day trips and a few overnight trips including camping and to the beach. (They have never seen an ocean before.) We will also take her for an eye exam and a dental cleaning. We will visit with cousins and friends and family, and have picnics and pool parties. We will have several events planned with the other hosting families in the New England area so the kids can play together and the “parents” can talk. Most importantly we will stay at home, do yard work together, clean together, then watch Disney movies and eat popcorn. You see, this is about spending TIME, not about “buying her stuff”. She can only take back what fits in her suitcase, and everything that goes back with her becomes community property at the orphanage. The only thing that belongs to her in five weeks is her memories, so we will focus on that.
As I write this, I realize that somewhere on the other side of the world a very brave 11-year old girl and many of her companions have already started what must be a terrifying adventure involving buses, trains, and planes. Godspeed my little friends.
