Quick message to friends and family

I just wanted to let everyone know that we appreciate all of you that have wanted to get together to see Tonya. Some have met her once and wanted to see her again, others haven’t even gotten that chance yet.  Please understand that we are trying to accommodate everyone as best we can.  Between people making tentative plans and then cancelling them due to unforeseen circumstances, we have been able to commit to other visitors. Everything seems to happen spontaneously, so PLEASE don’t take it personally and know that if we have our way, you will all have ample opportunities to see her in the future.   We are putting some new photos from the past few weeks down at the bottom of the Zude page, so take a look. Thanks.

-Dave & Jo-

7-26/27: Entering the final week

Well… that last week sure went by fast.  I can’t believe we are entering our final week with Tonya.  By this time next Saturday, she will be well on her way back to Russia.  We just showed Tonya on a calendar to make sure she understood as well.  I’ll talk about that more in the next post, but we’re all doing a lot of hugging these days.

I want to go back to last Saturday (7/19) which is the day we faxed in our intention to add Tonya to the highly esteemed Jagodowski clan. As you may recall, that is the day we drove our niece Anna back home to CT, and on the return trip we stopped at a Friendly’s restaurant for lunch.  It was at that moment that I noticed a big change in how I was interacting with Tonya.  Prior to that, I was being a little guarded (on the inside) because I didn’t want myself to fall in love with this kid and have that emotion influencing my decision. (I know… you women live your lives that way, but guys like to work things out on paper beforehand… that’s why we rarely make mistakes and insist on loooong engagements.)  Anyway, with the “intent form” already sent off, I felt liberated and free to open my heart to Tonya.  It was a turning point, and all the time since that moment has been extra special. She’s more than just a guest in our home now and I am free to share more affection with her and act a little more crazy around her… just so she knows what she’s getting into.

The past week was really horrible weather-wise, with thundershowers filling most of the days (and nights). We had a wonderful “family moment” one night when a thunderstorm passed nearby and made some really scary BA-BOOMS!!  We were just putting Tonya to bed and it was clear that she was a little scared, so Mama and I just sat there with her and “talked” her through it — with the help of some hand motions.  And, while we were doing our best to calm her down, Tonya was doing her best to comfort Mondo cat, who is very afraid of thunder but was feeling safe nestled into Tonya’s side.  So there we were in a 2-way comfort-fest.  After a few minutes, the storm moved away and I suggested to Tonya that she put in her mp3 player and listen to music to drown out the thunder. (It worked!)

Now, the cool thing about Tonya is that she is perfectly content to be a couch potato and just sit and watch DVD’s all day long. (She has the makings of a modern American.)  But Mama and I (mostly Mama) feel obligated to make her “do stuff”.  This led us to a roller skating rink down in Hudson, MA.  Now, Papa doesn’t roller skate because “If God had intended us to have wheels…, yada yada”, but Mama was quite the skater back in her day.  Tonya gave us the impression that she could skate, but you never really know.  When we got to the skating rink, the rental place offered a choice between traditional skates and roller blades. Mama opted for tradition but Tonya insisted on the blades.  It was immediately evident that she had been on roller blades before she had no trouble getting around.  Her and Mama did a few laps around together, sometimes holding hands, sometimes not.  Tonya managed to “trash” a few people, but always turned to say “I’m sorry” as she skated away from their crumpled bodies.  With nothing to do but spectate, I found myself cringing at the constant array or near-misses and intentional ‘take downs’ that apparently define the sport of skating.  Most of all, it was great to see Joanne cruising around on skates… she really looked great out there. Definitely the hottest Mama on the track!

One of the evenings, Tonya began to inquire about hold old Mama and Papa were.  From the look on her face I could have probably foregone the numeric explanation and just looked up the Russian word for ‘ancient’.  One thing sort of led to another and soon we were showing her our wedding album and explaining that our 19th anniversary was on the 28th.  She actually seemed to understand that.  She seemed to be very genuinely excited about the wedding photos as we flipped through each page and defined each person in simple terms (i.e. “Mama’s Papa’s Papa”).  Whatever the reason, it was nice to see her so interested in us.

On Tues 7/22 we all went to the mall with our friend David M. with the intent of just going to the Build-A-Bear store (or as I like to say, the “Stuff-A-Pelt” store).  Once you get Tonya in the mall however, you gotta do some clothes shopping too, so we ended up getting her this “jogging suit” outfit that she really wanted. We grabbed some lunch and then headed to the B-A-B store.  Once we explained the ”build you’re own stuffed animal” concept, Tonya (and all of us) began deciding what type of animal to make. Tonya chose a bunny, Mama a yellow bear, David a black bear, and Papa a dog.  The woman employee who worked with us did  a great job and was even able to convert the computer program to Russian for the ‘Birth Certificate’ portion of the process. Tonya, ever the girl, loaded her bunny with accessories, including shoes, a handbag, a cell phone, shorts, a top, and sunglasses.  That was one decked-out bunny!

On the way out of the mall we passed by a carousel/merry-go-round thing.  Somehow Mama was able to work it out so she got to shop at the nearby jewelry store while Tonya, David, and Papa went around and around and around and around.  Oy!  After the Mall we all went back home and played Wii for way too many hours.

On Thursday 7/24, Mama, Papa, and Tonya had hair appointments with our longtime hairdresser Cherie Ceresa. Since Mama had the most hair to contend with, Cherie took her first.  Tonya and I were able to kill time looking through the hairstyling books and deciding which style might look best on each of us. It was wildly silly as you might imagine. While Mama was under the dryer and getting rinsed, Cherie did Tonya’s fingernails for her with some funky blue polish.  When Mama was done, Tonya got her turn in the chair.  She was nervous at first about the prospect of anyone messing with her hair, but she quickly figured out that Cherie knew what she was doing and could be trusted with scissors (unlike Papa).  Cherie commented on the jagged crooked cut in Tonya’s hair, as if someone had just scooped it into a ponytail and cut straight across with a pair of not-so-sharp shears.  Cherie undid the damage, restoring even layers.  Tonya liked the cut but was irritated by the natural curl in her hair (Don’t you just hate that, ladies?)  Cherie worked her over with a flat iron and straightened it out to give her that ‘Sissy Spacek’ look, sans the pig blood.  (Papa prefers the curls.)   Finally Papa made it to the chair, and despite his request to look like Orlando Bloom (the archer dude in Lord of the Rings), Mama intervened and requested that I look boring as usual.

That night we went to the animal shelter as usual.  Tonya felt the need to take lots of cat pictures, so she did!

On Friday 7/25, the sun actually shined ALL DAY.  We invited ourselves over to Kathie Gosselin’s house in Manchester. (Kathie is a fellow board member and affectionaly referred to as my ’shelter wife’, or Joanne’s ’sister wife’). Kathie has an awesome in-the-ground pool, so we had a full day of swimming, eating, sunning, and more swimming.  Since Mama isn’t too keen on the pool scene, Papa ended up spending a LOT of time in the pool.  At least I got an awesome tan. Too bad I don’t have a cool hair style to go with it.

Saturday was also a semi-nice day, so we felt obligated to do something outdoorsey. We decided to expose Tonya to some of NH’s natural beauty, so we drove 90 minutes north up to Franconia Notch. (This is where the famous “Man on the Mountain” used to be.  Recently NH was taken over by liberals and the old man opted to commit suicide by jumping off the mountain in 2003.  Apparently he knew what was coming.)   At first Tonya made it clearly evident that she was not impressed with the whole “fresh air and mountains” thing, but we figured she’d enjoy taking the tram ride up to the top of the mountain and looking around a bit. When she learned there was a cafeteria at the top of the mountain, things started to look up.  After eating, we set out on a 500′ long trail that led to an observation tower.  About 100′ into the slightly uphill trail, you would have thought this kid was on the Bataan death march.  My hopes of EVER taking this girl camping were starting to fade.  When we got to the tower, the 3-stories of uphill stairs almost finished her off, but I think the panoramic view restored her energy and she suddenly seemed born again.  From the tower she could see some people hiking on another trail below and she indicated that she wanted to do that too. (Hmmm… there might be hope for this kid yet.)  We walked around a trail that went around the edge of the mountain so there were frequent viewing areas.  Our little girly-girl had no trouble climbing rocks or getting her butt dirty to get to a good vantage point.  I was very pleased with this change of attitude about the outdoors.  All we needed to end this adventure on a positive note was some ice cream, so we caught the next tram down and indulged in some creamy goodness.

On the way back, we got off in Lincoln, NH and discovered this great little Mini-Golf place, so we stopped and managed to get in 18-holes.  I am pretty sure that this was Tonya’s first experience with a golf club, so it definitely got frustrating for her at times.  We fully expected a temper tantrum and a flying mini-putter, but after we calmly talked her through some strategies about how to aim and hit the ball, she just ‘went with it’ and had fun.  Fortunately Mama and I both played well so there were no other temper tantrums to contend with.  It was a fun and successful foray into the outdoors and it gave us hope that Tonya might fit into the NH lifestyle.   Hopefully we get that chance.

Today (Sunday 7/27), we went over to visit Aileen and Kevin Clay, who are hosting “Lenna”, the 13-year old Russian girl.  The girls were inseperable, and we had a wonderful lunch together and some “forward-thinking” conversations about the challenges ahead and the hoops we need to jump through.

Guess what… I’m DONE with this post.  I’ve been working on it for 2 days now and I’m not even going to proof read it first… just gonna hit that PUBLISH button….. Now!

7-16, 17, 18: Mama Recollects D-Day Events

Hi everyone. Thanks for all the comments we’ve received in the past day. Everyone sure seems excited about something!?  I’m actually going to hand the keyboard over to Joanne today… maybe she has some news to share with you.  Here’s Jo!

Wow the pressure. First, I am not a writer. It is one of the things that I try to avoid at all costs. Anyway, Dave says to write like I am going to give you the answer to THE question and then just tell you about our beach trip and Canobie Lake adventure (he also said I should propose selling blog subscriptions, but I’ll let him handle those details). So…

… on Wednesday we went to the beach. I ended up in the front seat driving Ludmilla and Tonya to the beach while they talked non-stop in Russian all the way there. (Kinda unsettling, was she saying that we made her eat chicken every night and she hates chicken??) We were lucky enough to get beach parking and met up with Grandmom, Auntie Carol and Anna. Tonya was very excited to see Anna (which was good since I was worried that she would focus on Ludmilla and Anna would feel left out). It was a picture perfect day -blue skies, great waves thanks to the full moon and a wonderful sea breeze.  We all stuck our feet in the water and Tonya kept trying to get us to go in further which we all resisted. I think Ludmilla finally had enough of that and grabbed Tonya’s hand and dragged her all the way into the ocean up to her neck. Tonya was surprised and probably learned that sometimes you DO get what you ask for.  We stayed for hours and then trolleyed down to Perkin’s Cove for a great dinner. Once we got back to our hotels (Grandmom, Carol and Anna in one and Ludmilla, Tonya and myself at another due to late bookings), it was clear that Tonya wanted to stay in Ludmilla’s room, not mama’s. (Oh well, it’s not about me – it is about her.) We had a late night swim in the pool and all fell asleep around 11. The next morning, all 6 of us had breakfast together and then Tonya had another good swim in the pool until it was time to check out. The weather turned very hot and humid, so we decided to head on home, instead of burning at the beach.

Anna had decided to stay with us for a few days, so the girls had a fun afternoon while Carol and Grandmom headed back to CT. It was a shelter night, so Papa went in for a full shift and I brought the girls in to play with the kittens. They had so much fun and each had a favorite kitten that they bestowed lots of hugs and kisses upon. The three of us then went to Pizza Hut for supper (you have got to try those chocolate dippers – they are sooo good.)

The next day, while Papa stayed home to work on getting work, Anna, Tonya and I headed to Canobie Lake. It was a very hot, humid day, but a few trips down the water rides cooled us off. We went on almost all the rides, many more than once. Anna wanted to go on the wooden roller coaster (she had never been on one before). Tonya said she did too, so we all got into the 20 minute line. As we watched people go up and up and up before they went down, Tonya got worried. I told her that she could change her mind right up to the moment we sat down to ride and if that happened, we would just wait for Anna. Well, every 3 minutes the answer changed from “yes” to “no”. When it was our turn, she turned to me and said “mama, me, one” (meaning we ride together). So we all climbed in. As we were going up, up, up, I put my arms around her and held her tight – she was shaking. All I could think about was how BAD a mama I was, letting this poor scared child ride a roller coaster – she was going to be traumatized for life and it was ALL my fault. I should know better, after all I am supposed to be THE adult. Then we went down. She screamed. I screamed. She laughed. I laughed. The ride was over in under 2 minutes and as we rounded the last corner she had such a proud look on her face – she did it. As soon as we got off the ride she wanted to know when she could call her best friend in NY to tell her all about it. Whew!

We ended up the day riding the big swing ride. Tonya loved this ride and was able to keep going on (no lines). After 2 times, I sat on the bench and watched Tonya flying high above me. As she was going round and round she spread out her arms and had this really beautiful, happy smile on her face. I fell in love.

Yesterday we spent way too long in the machina (car) to bring Anna home to CT. On the way back to NH, we stopped for supper at a Friendly’s. I was able to sit back and watch Tonya and Papa play intense games of Tic Tac Toe on the placemats and then share a caramel sundae. I fell more in love with Dave then too (it has been so special being able to watch him interact with Tonya and to see what a wonderful Papa he is). We got home, watched Nemo, Tonya went off to bed.

I think I will pass the blog back to Papa to finsh up…

Hi… Dave here.  Somehow Joanne fast-forwarded over the fact that before we left to bring Anna home, we faxed our “D-Day” form back to New Horizons.  Amusingly, Jo and I didn’t have any chance to have a sit-down discussion about this… we were both just to busy (and exhausted).  The form was as simple as could be – basically 3 short paragraphs with a checkbox in front of each followed by 2 signature lines:

 [ ] Yes, we would like to…

[ ] No, we do not intend to… 

[ ] We are uncertain at this time…  

As Joanne and I sat at the desk, I grabbed a pen and cavalierly checked off the top box. I looked at her and asked, “Did I get that right?”.  We both signed the form and faxed it on its way, giving it no more thought than if we were paying the phone bill.  It felt that right.

Now… before anyone gets too excited, understand that MANY THINGS CAN GO WRONG and that this is largely out of our hands. The first being that unless I find new employment, we won’t even be considered as suitable parents.  Then there’s the matter of a lot of money, some Russian beaurocracy, a lot of forms, a lot more money, some judges, more forms, more money, all wrapped around a couple round-trips to Russia.  Jo and I have made our intent clear… it’s up to God now (and all those other people/things mentioned above.)

Now, let’s talk blog subscriptions. I’m thinking that $25/mo. would go a long way toward offsetting our international air fares…

THANK YOU everyone for your support during this process. We feel blessed to have such good friends and family on our side.

Peace out,

-Papa-

7-19: Spaghetti Nachos

Hi everyone,
Sorry that I have been a bit infrequent in my postings as of late. We are settling into somewhat of a routine, so there is not as much to report on a day-to-day basis. For most of the past week, Joanne has had the most contact with Tonya so I’m going to try to get her to write up her experiences. On Wednesday they went to the beach with Ludmilla and met up with ‘Aunt’ Carol, Anna, and ‘Grandma’ Georgette. They had a full beach day and spent the night in a motel in Ogunquit, ME. I stayed behind to deal with some “dog issues” that we are having and work on my resume. [FYI: OUr 'puppy' Moose is turning into a "man dog" and thinks the world is his bitch. Actually, with Tonya's arrival he has become protective of us all and has scared the living alligator snot out of several of our friends. On behalf of Moose, I apologize to my friends. Your alligator snot will be promptly gathered and returned.] Aah… it feels good to be free-associating behind the keyboard again! I smell a Pulitzer!

Anyway, where was I. Oh yes… Joanne and Tonya did an overnight at the beach with Jo’s family, then came back to our house on Thursday for a quick visit. Anna stayed with us for Thursday & Friday night, which was great for Tonya. On Friday, Joanne brought the kids to the nearby Canobie Lake Amusement Park and had a VERY FULL day. I missed the fun due to a meeting at the Unemployment Office, more “dog stuff”, the usual dose of “animal shelter crap”, and to continue my job quest. Ludmilla, who was supposed to stay with us Thursday night, actually ended up going over to the next host’s house that evening, strictly as a matter of convenience for them. It was wonderful having her, and despite the fact that we didn’t understand a word she said, her lively hand motions and expressions seemed like a universal language. She was very gracious and easy going. Funny story: Ludmilla was staying in the finished part of our basement (my music studio), which we outfitted with a nice queen-size inflatable mattress and lamps and tables. (It was almost enough to make you not notice the guitars hanging all over the walls.) That night, I set the coffee pot to start brewing at 7:00 AM so she’d have coffee waiting for her when she got up. I figured she was an early riser because Tonya started out that way before we fixed her. Well, I got up at 8:30 AM figuring everyone would be up. Nope. No Tonya, No Ludmilla. Around 9:00, Tonya finally comes tumbling downstairs and she’s wondering where Ludmilla is. I just shrugged. Finally around 10:00, I send Tonya down to check on Ludmilla, or at least check for a pulse. Ludmilla was still asleep! She conveyed to us later that the bed was so comfortable she just didn’t want to get up! She was embarrassed, but it made us feel good to know she was so comfortable!

Anyway, I’ll try to get Joanne to fill you in on the beach details and the amusement park. In the midst of this madness which kept me away from my wife, Thursday 7/17 was “D-day”. No, not the Normandy invasion, but rather DECISION DAY. It was the day that the New Horizons agency required us to make a decision as to our intent to adopt/not adopt/maybe adopt Tonya. Unfortunately with all the commotion going on that day and me having to work at the animal shelter that night, Jo and I never got around to that paperwork. And Friday, between my meetings and her amusement park trip, we never got around to it. But on Saturday (today), we finally filled out the D-day form and faxed it back. Now I know you are all wondering about this and that you only have one question on your mind:

“Why is the title of this blog ‘Spaghetti Nachos’”?

I’m glad you asked. One of the cool things about this adventure is that Tonya’s english has increased incredibly. For the past week she has been “parrotting” us… just repeating everything we say. At first you think she’s just being obnoxious (like, say, a parrot) but she is just practicing. She actually forms complete sentences in english (sometimes). Now, there are several schools of thought that people use to express themselves when speaking english to a foreigner. There is the Steve Martin school, which says just speak louder and slower until they get it. Then there is the Dave Jag school which says, just act so completely inept at their language that they will find it easier to speak English. Case and point: For 2 weeks now, we have been putting Tonya to bed and saying “Good Night”. And she’ll say “Good Night… Spokoynay Nochay” (Which is the Russian translation.) Now, I am perfectly able to say “Spokoynay Nochay”, but I don’t want her to know that, so I screw it up in various ways. The one which seems to get a consistent laugh is “Spaghetti Nachos”. It has become a classic gag between us.  Hey, when you find something that makes a kid smile… USE IT!!

Today we had to drive Anna back home to CT. We stayed less than an hour before turning back home to NH again. We stopped at a Friendly’s restaurant in Sturbridge, MA for some lunch. It was so comfortable and just plain fun. We played tick-tack-toe on the back of the placemats (fyi: she cheats) and compared the gooey caramel dripping off a spoonful of ice cream to the way that Moose drools. I feel differently about her now since we faxed in the D-day form earlier this morning and stated that we want to…

Whoah! Look at the time. Please tune in again. Papa out.

-Dave-

7-15: Crazy… the new ‘Normal’

Howdy folks. Yesterday was a pretty big day for us. Tonya had to go in for her obligatory dental checkup, and she was genuinely scared. (Joanne even thinks she saw real tears, but I’m not so easily fooled.) But despite her fearful state right up to very end, she did great, and her teeth looked very good too. (Another perk of not being related to Papa). Her only cavity is on her last baby tooth, which the dentist suspects will come out on its own soon enough. So that bit of good news only set us back $130 or so. (I rarely get out of the dentist’s office for less than $2k, so it’s okay.)

After that scary experience, we wanted to fill her day with fun stuff so as to create a ‘positive association’ with the dentist. (I usually head to the local Sports Bar myself.) We started by going out to lunch and ALL having hotdogs and ice cream. We then headed over to a ‘Paint your own pottery’ place in Bedford, NH where you can purchase pre-created pots, mugs, plates, cups, figurines, cookie jars, jewelry boxes, etc. and then paint them however you like. They then kiln-dry them and glaze them for you. When we arrived there was a 1-hr. waiting list, so we headed off to do some shopping at a local thrift store and then to WalMart. Tonya was in great spirits by this point, so she wanted to buy us something as well (on our tab, of course.) She picked out some bracelets for Mama (and some for herself, too) and a “USA” t-shirt for Papa. We then headed back to the Pottery place and selected our projects. Tonya chose a cat mug; Mama chose a cat candy dish, and Papa (in true form), chose a Martini glass. I have to admit, it was a total creative release. You totally expect it to look silly when you’re done so you don’t get too bogged down in perfection. I probably spent 2 hours working on that silly glass. Anyway, we will pick up our finalized masterpieces next week.

When we got home, Tonya wanted to go swimming… so she did. She discovered the “ICE AGE 2″ DVD in our collection and gotta extremely excited, so we all sat down and watched that after dinner. By the end of the day, I don’t think she remembered the dentist at all. Mission Accomplished.

On Tuesday (today), we picked up Ludmilla for the start of a 4-day, 3-night stay at our house. Ludmilla is one of the chaperones on the trip and she “bounces” from house to house, staying with most of the host families. Add the fact that she only speaks Russian and LOVES to talk and you have the makings of a successful sitcom on the WB network. Tonya was wary of her arrival at first, but the prospect of having someone to speak Russian with quickly won out and Mama and I were quickly relegated to the back burner. We weren’t quite sure what to do with Ludmilla AND Tonya… we just wanted to kill a bunch of time. We ended up driving down to Boston to go to the New England Aquarium. (Have I mentioned that I hate Boston?) We DID eventually get there, despite the city’s best efforts to get us lost. We even found parking on the fifth level of some parking garage thingy next to the aquarium.

Let me say that I haven’t been to the New England Aquarium since I was knee-high to a grouper, and since then, Joanne and I literally dwelled at Sea World in San Diego for 2 years, thanks to season passes and my being a cheap date. Still, I figured our $20-per-head admission would procure us at least 5 hours of mesmerizing aquatic fun. Well, 2 hours later (including 2 visits to the cafeteria), we were done. We’d seen it all. Well, not actually “seen it”. Tonya was less than impressed with most of it, though she did love the huge central tank that spans several stories. I was distraught by the number of kids (i.e. out of control brats) that were occupying the place and banging relentlessly on every button and buzzer in the exhibits. I had an opportunity to flip one kid into the piranha tank after he’d been mercilessly scaring the poor fish for about 10 minutes. I think they would have cherished the chance to meet him face to fin. (You know the kid was a brat when you feel bad for the piranhas). Anyway… opportunity missed. Oh well, all that commotion made it easier to leave, despite the fact that my subconscious was tallying the “cost-per-hour” of the whole experience and my conscious self was thinking “Where’s Shamu?… I didn’t even see a frickin’ Beluga whale?!… or get a free beer sample”. Oh well, it was Boston… a city where they feel that if they charge you enough, you will, at the very least, have bragging rights to say that “I’m wealthy enough to have gone to Boston” when you write in your blog that night. For the record, I WAS wealthy enough until they charged me $30 to get out of the freakin’ parking garage. For 2 HOURS!!! I’ve used cheaper valet parking!! (Hate Boston.)

Tonya and Ludmilla chatted constantly on the way home. Joanne and I, in the front seat, felt a bit isolated. Oh well… the important thing is that she is having fun. It IS her vacation after all!

Okay… Papa’s exhausted. Thanks for tuning in. Extra thanks to Naira for doing double-duty now that we have 2 Russians running around our house!

07-14: Notes of thanks

I want to take a moment to thank everyone who has been so supportive of our hosting program, be it through prayers, financial assistance, or just spending quality time with Tonya. I want to extend special thanks to Naira Aiello, who WAS my coworker at 5G (or what I like to refer to as “Fifth Genocidal Systems”). Naira speaks Russian natively and she has ALWAYS been there whenever Joanne or I need something translated. She has been a Godsend these past few days as Tonya tries to convey more and more complex thoughts to us.
We had a full day today… I’ll try to update you later. Just wanted to say Thanks for now!
-Dave-

07-13: Yes, I’m Back

Hello everyone,
Sorry for that short vacation, but it was needed. As I mentioned in my previous post, we travelled down to MA quite suddenly last Wed. so Joanne and Tonya could attend a bridal shower for Kristin Ormsby, who was our flower child… 19 years ago! Apparently all “the girls” had a good time, and Tonya got introduced to more people than she can ever expect to remember.

On Thursday morning we had a nice breakfast at Friendly’s with my parents and my nephew, Ricky. (Ricky was staying with my parents for a few days because he had an ‘unidentified rash’, so the doctors suggested they keep him isolated from Lexi.) We also ran into Gloria Albano, a close friend and neighbor, and was able to introduce her to Tonya. After breakfast, Joanne and Tonya headed over to visit with Joanne’s sister’s family so Tonya and Anna could go swimming and do crazy girl stuff.

During this time I was supposed to be working on my resume’, but “little Rick” wasn’t about to let that happen, so we ended up playing baseball out in the backyard. A LOT of baseball. In the peak sunlight. I hope I don’t sweat like that for a long time. Face it, baseball is a lousy 1-on-1 sport… WAY to much running. I just started hitting the ball deep but staying on 1st base because it was the only place in the shade!

Later that day, Rick and Gail showed up with the rest of their clan, and Joanne and Tonya eventually returned as well. It was obvious that Tonya had gotten WAY too much sun, and she had some serious sunburn on her back and shoulders. Joanne and Grandma took care of it, afterwhich she played with Ricky, Chrissy, and Joey. It was nice to see Tonya relating better with the younger kids.

I don’t think we left MA until nearly 7:00PM and Tonya conked out pretty quick on the ride home. Not too long into the trip, she complained about being uncomfortable, and we realized it was the sunbrun on her back. We made a quick stop in Sturbridge to get her some chewable tylenol and it seemed to do the trick.

Friday was an uneventful day… at least during the morning & afternoon. Tonya and I took a nice bike ride up and down the street (a few times). After that, Mama had to break out the Spirograph Set to keep her occupied for awhile. At one point we had to call one of my ex-coworkers, Naira, to get a translation about “cats and kittens”. It turns out that Tonya just wanted to know how old everyone was. Later that day, Mama took Tonya out to see a movie (Wall-E) in the theater while Papa attended a Rush concert in Manchester.

Saturday we had a bit of shoppig to do, and we ended up at Walmart at one point. Passing by the kids clothes section, Tonya started yammering up a storm about something or other having to do with short sleeves and tank tops. Not having a clue, I called Naira again and she explained how Tonya was wanting a Camisole top. (She was not impressed with the Incredible Hulk top I had suggested.)

We eventually ended up at Friendly’s in Manchester for lunch. (My Godmother, Julie Dinoia, had given Tonya a Friendly’s gift card at the bridal shower.) Lunch was just a lot of fun and goofy giggles. The communication barrier was definitely getting lowered.

On Sunday we had a couple of shelter friends over in the afternoon so they could meet Tonya. It was a nice gathering: Mike & Edie Mozer (and baby Matthew), David Mirasolo, and Nick Naylor and longtime girlfriend, Kelly.

This week (Tuesday AM) we will be picking up Ludmilla, the chaperone, to we’re keepng busy!
Thanks fur tuning in. Pap’s VERY tired. Papa out.

7-08: Another full day

Hi everyone,

Well at the very least, we are teaching Tonya the American value of sleeping late!  This is a very important rule in our household: You can go to bed whenever you want, just don’t wake up before 8:00, and preferably 9:00.  And on weekends, 10:30 is acceptable. 

We had a fun day today.  Jo and I invited our friend, David Mirasolo, to join the three of us on a trip to the Charmingfair Farm (zoo) in Candia, NH… about 25 minutes away.  This is a very low-key petting zoo, but a nice way to see alot of the native wildlife the lives in our NH woods.  I was most impressed with watching the Mountain Lion because he’s just a “big kitty”.  He is as nimble as a housecat… he just happens to weigh 150lbs.  It was also cool to see a Fisher, which is often mistakenly referred to as a “Fisher Cat” up in these parts.  Fishers are “weasily” looking creatures that account for most of the “Missing Cat” posters in our neighborhood.  We also saw some wolves and bears, a wolverine, camel, chickens, llamas, horses, raccoons, reindeer, goats, cows, swans, and sheep.  Tonya  was a little hesitant at first to hand feed the animals because it was “icky”, but she warmed up to the idea after watching Mama and David.  At one point, while trying to enter the goat pen, Tonya was overrun by goats and panicked.  She dropped her paper feed bag which led to a feeding frenzy, which looked alot like a quarterback sack in football.  20+ goats were stacked on top of each other trying to get that bag!  Pretty funny.   Tonya was also able to take a short pony ride, while Mama walked alongside and held on.

Overrall I don’t think Tonya was incredibly impressed by the experience, though she did have a few thrills while feeding the animals. She had the most fun using David’s digital camera to take pictures.

Upon returning home, Tonya took a dip in the pool.  David had brought over a few of his Wii games, so Tonya transitioned directly from the pool to the Wii.

After dinner, we all settled in to watch Shrek 3.  I’m sure Tonya will watch it 4 more times in the next 2 days.

As of tonight, we have had Tonya for 2 weeks. In 7 days we are expected to tell the hosting agency our intent regarding her future (i.e. “pursue adoption”, “no thank you”, or “undecided”). There is sure to be some serious discussions going on in the coming week!  How about you folks… what do you think?

Okay folks… Papa has to watch his Simpsons at midnight, Where else can I learn modern parenting skills?

Thanks for tuning in.  Papa out.

-Dave-

7-07: A Good Day to be Tonya

Today was a big day for Tonya because we went out and bought her a nice brand new bike. Thanks to WalMart we were able to keep it below $60, plus a helmet. She had expressed interest in biking while her and Mama were thumbing through one of the Russian picture books we had purchased. We also bought her a sleeping bag, though she has no idea what it is used for yet. We are planning on going camping later in the week if the weather cooperates. Joanne thinks she’s a “girly girl” who is going to hate camping, but I detect a “Tom-boy” edge to her that might enjoy tromping through the woods and scaring wildlife. We also got her Season 2 of Sponge Bob and Scooby Doo, plus the Shrek I and Shrek III DVD’s. (We considered it an investment in our sanity.) Anyway, it was a great day for Mama, as her and Tonya took a nice bike ride up and down the street, then splashed around in the pool together to cool off. (Even Papa joined in later.) Tonya is really loving up Mama despite the fact that Mama is “laying down the law” with her. It is nice to see. They communicate so seemlessly now. Tonya’s English comprehension seems to have exploded in these past 48 hours… it’s just amazing.

I was sort of in a ‘funk’ today, perhaps because I completed my unemployment application online. (I have never had to file before.) With Tonya’s “honeymoom period” coming to an end and the distraction of her presence becoming normal, the reality of my situation smacked me in the face and weighed on me heavily. I need to try to compartmentalize all of this or I’m going to miss out on what should be one of the most exciting times in my life. It’s funny (and sad) how being aware of that in no way makes you able to get ahold of it.

Joanne received an unexpected phone call late this afternoon from a woman in Georgia who had hosted and adopted a girl from Tonya’s orphanage. Apparently they were good friends, even though the girl was a few years older. When they found out that Tonya was being hosted in ‘the states’ they looked her up (somehow) and gave us a call. This was a little surprising to us because we are NOT supposed to be discussing adoption with the kids at all, so how is it even possible that an adopted kid could speak to Tonya and not convey that?! Joanne and I discussed how we should handle it and decided that Tonyais bright enough to “know the ropes”. She knows that some kids get hosted, then adopted, and others just get hosted over and over again. Whatever the case, Tonya had a blast talking on the phone with her friend.

After dinner, Joanne and I walked the dogs while Tonya lead the way on her bike. We’re trying to teach her some basic safety and making some slow progress. Her bike still has training wheels… it would be nice to be able to lose those before she returns.

And for the record, if anyone is looking to buy a girls bike (18″ frame, very pink) we’ll probably have one for sale in about 4 weeks. We might have a pair of adult bikes for sale too, as Joanne and I purchased new bikes a few weeks back in preparation of Tonya’s arrival. (These are real nice bikes… both Fuji’s, and we paid just over a $1000 for the pair. If anyone is interested, let me know!)

Okay… gotta go watch The Simpsons now. Papa out.

-Dave-

7-06: A Day at the Ballpark

Howdy friends
I have to admit… for a day that I was kind of dreading, it turned out pretty cool. Not that I was dreading the events of the day, I’m just plain tired from all the travelling and visiting as of late and I could go for some down time.

Today we had the second of three group events for the New England hosting families… a Fisher Cats baseball game. (The ‘cats’ are a farm team for the Toronto Bluejays or somebody up there.) For this trip we were joined by our friend David Mirasolo who Tonya just loves. David, a recent graduate from Joanne’s design program, has a child-like quality that makes him pretty darn lovable to everyone. We had great seats for the game, right behind home plate, and it was a beautiful day for a ball game… or any outdoor activity for that matter. We had a bunch of translators at this event and a special guest named Svetlana who only recently arrived in the USA. Near as we can guess, she is like a regional supervisor for the Russian orphanage system. We were advised to “get to know her” because if we decided to “pursue” with Tonya, she could be very influential in helping us through the Russian court system, and her blessing goes a long way.

The ball park proved not be the best place for adults to talk freely, and the kids were more interested in each other than the game. Tonya was in true form, however, going through her collection of “pained expressions” everytime we denied her something. Aileen Clay, the regional organizer, was able to witness this first hand and advised Joanne to “Hold firm this week… it tends to be the hardest week. If you stay strong this week, the rest of the visit should go easy.” We’ll see.

With the ‘Cats’ safely in the lead in the 8th inning, we split for a restaurant where the adults could speak freely and get acquainted, and the children could go nuts in Russian. [Before we leave the ballpark, Kudos to Barbara for organizing the Fisher Cats game for all of us and handling the tickets and such. Great job!]

We ended up at a Chinese Buffet place in Manchester. Sort of funny having a bunch of Americans, Russians, and Chinese people hanging around a long table. It seems like we should have had a nuclear arms summit while we were there and hashed out a few of the worlds problems. We could have at least figured out how to get North Korea to nuke Iran so the USA doesn’t have to do it, but we focused mostly on children.

I need to get this off my chest: Russian women can be scary beautiful. From a distance they can look harsh and intimidating, but up close they have just beautiful facial features. Even the men have this “harshness” to them that makes you think the Cold War is alive and well… until they speak, and laugh, and you realize that people are people. (It only seems to be when they unite into political parties that they get really stupid and surrender all of their individual beliefs for someone else’s party line.) This particular group of Russians consists of Christian people, and as I like to say, if you can’t get along with a Christian, you are either (a)evil or (b)talking to a hypocrite. The only reason I mention this is because Joanne and I were really nervous about sitting with Svetlana and Ludmilla (one of the chaperones) and having nothing to say!! Add that fact that you’re constantly talking through an interpreter, and face it… it’s a crap shoot if they actually interpret you correctly. There is always that fear of inadvertently starting an international incident, then the next thing you know you’re at DEFCON 2 and heading home to wrap your windows in duct tape.

Fortunately for us, our interpreter Olga had brought her father on this outing. He has been an American citizen for around 8 years. He recalls first hand how difficult it was to come to this country as an absolute foreigner knowing only how to say “yes” and “no” and working his way up from there. His English is still a bit broken, but completely understandable. His daughter helped us communicate because it was easier for him to understand us in Russian than in English. After a few rounds of friendly chit-chat, he came out with this statement about why he loved America so much, and went on to say, “You know why Americans are happy? I know why. It is the freedom of religion. It was founded by religious people. You have the freedom to practice your faith and say whatever you want to say.” He went on to say how his grandfather, a minister, spent 9 years in prison and eventualy died there when Stalin took over and illegalized God. I was so deeply touched by his sentiments that I felt obligated to finish making his point. “America” I said, “Is the only country in the world that was founded under the belief that your right to speak freely and live freely are endowed by God, not government, and you can only lose those rights by handing them back to the government.” I went on to say, “I only wish that my friends understood America as well as you do, because when you grow up here, you take it all for granted.” For whatever reasons, he felt the need to transltate that into Russian and share it with Svetlana and Ludmilla. It went on for about 5 minutes and I was starting to see the DEFCON scale moving up in my head. Joanne, who had been distracted with something else, came back to the table about halfway through the translation and asked, “What’s going on?” I said, “We’re talking God and politics.” Joanne had to be worried because she knows how passionate I get about defending America. When Olga’s father finished translating, the women didn’t say a word… they just stared at me reassuringly, as if saying “Amen”.

Olga’s father went on to thank us profusely for opening our home to Russian children. His emotion was genuine and deeply touching. He is an American who loves Russia, and wants to see the opportunities that America offers extended to all.

After that, we spoke specifically about Tonya. Svetlana and Ludmilla had limited interaction with her, but both had stated that “she is a special child”. Before we left, Svetlana took Tonya aside for a few minutes to speak with her. I get the impression that she told Tonya that we were pretty special people too and she’d better not blow this opportunity… but I could be delusional. All I know is that Tonya seemed to “straighten up” a little bit after that; she was more quiet than usual and it took an hour of Wii games back home to pull her out of her funk. Like I said, there Russians can be VERY intimidating… even to another Russian!

We left the Buffet feeling MUCH better and in the presence of friends. I shook hands with Olga’s father and said, “You are a good American!” Sadly there aren’t too many people I can do that with anymore.

Our evening ended with all of us (including David M.) coming back to our house and playing some cool Wii games and having a cookout. Tonya even snuck in a quick swim before dinner. She picks up on things so quickly that the language just isn’t an issue, even when teaching her the Wii games.

Gotta run… I think this is going to be a trying week for all of us
Papa out.
-Dave-